fml the fast begins + new ugw

I'm so tired right now, my body has had it and my chest hurts. I feel bloated, fat and sick with myself. I can list the order of my sins today, not all with their deadly numbers, I lost track after a while. This morning was one large bowl of fiber flakes (135), lemon herb healthy choice meal (210) Then a white chicken and broccoli slice of pizza, most of the chicken taken off (300-400?), half a ice cream crunch bar (70) half a bag of chocolate covered pretzels (200), a bag of trail mix (220) strawberry short cake ice cream (140) 6 milano cookies (360) a strawberry nutri-grain bar (120) half a subway sandwich (400-500) some ice cream again (100) a large bowl of kookie crisps (150) a pizza grilled cheese (135) peppers and crackers (60) and some chips and sour cream (80). I purged everything from that 3rd helping of ice cream ut the total is for the day...

between 2680-2880. Omg that's so much.

Even though I purged after that third ice cream plus a binge I'd at most gotten out 250 cals. The only good thing from this, is that now I don't have anymore cravings.

Now what had me eating like this wasn't just the normal cravings, it was all emotionally eating. I was doing good, until my ex who is supposed to be my "friend" now, tells me he's going out with another one of these so called "friends" I have. Isn't there an unwritten rule about dating people's exs. That's not a good friend thing. I know I shouldn't care that, it shouldn't bother me, but it does. It makes me want to cry. It's only been 3 months since I broke up with my ex. I can't even fathom being in another relationship atm. Apparently it didn't mean as much to him. I was cuting, blasting the loudest angriers deafing music I could find. I tried to drink water as to not binge, but that didn't work other than to have me in the bathroom all day.

I was trying to purge while at school eating all these horrid foods, but it didn't really work. People were asking me if I was ok all day since I kept to my self. I guess some of the guys can see I'm single, but they are annoying. ima try to get some sleep and work out if I can.

My new UGW is now 80. Its gonna be a long hall. I know there's no point weighing in after a binge, since im all bloated and stuffed with food and water, but the scale said 94, I hope that's not the case. I don't know if its just me but purging gets me so tired. I also hate it when my stomach gets all bloated and more some on one side than other. Ugh so tired must sleep. 

I'll e dreaming of 80.