I don't even know what to say. How does a few fresh veggies turn into an all out binge. I guess I just wanted to clear out all my food, since I didn't do that yesterday. I was quick to purge afterward. My belly isn't as swollen as before either, but this can't be good. My chest hurts again as well. So I'm restarting the fast this time I know better than to try and eat a little. I don't know why but its like my brain shuts off.
I has gotten down to 92 lbs again too. I haven't gone and weighed in yet. I plan to work out, though I feel so weary and weak right now. Purging takes so much out of me. I want to be thin. I don't want to be stuck in this cycles. I'd like to at least get to 85 for halloween and stay there then down to 80 for thanksgiving. I'm done withbeing weak.
I am in control of this. I will not eat. I will give into temptation. I will not make another excuse about working it off. It won't be put on to have to work off. I will only be drinking water for now, until I can get some splenda on Monday. Then I can have my healthy green tea. Other than that my allowance is one stick of gum a day and lots of water. I will lose this weight. I want to work out as much as I can today and tomorrow, since my weight is high it will be easier to bur more cals. I want to sleeep right now thou.
Other than all those issues, I'm going to have to buy my Halloween costume. I was going to make it but with all the things going on I just don't have the time. I'm going wither for bell, Alice in wonderland, little bow peep. Anything with white and light blue since my stockings have that already. Well I'll weigh in tomorrow morning, lets hope I didn't do to much damage and that I can gather the strength to work out tonight.
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