Not too stuffed

This should be quick cause I'm still at my ex's. Last night was kinda bad...ok it was horrible. We went to freaking outback. Thank god I only had that apple yesterday morning. I didn't feel over stuffed from the binge but, it was a high cal intake. I tried to aim for the low stuff but I'm just horrible once a binge starts. The cal intake was well into the 2000's maybe like 1800 to be exact, I don't even know. I won't know the damage till tonight, but I'm gonna try to fast for the day. My ex is like why aren't you hungry? So I may have to eat something. I might throw in some small fasts this week to make up any damage. 

I'll report more later, we are going out today so a lot of walking will be involved and hopefully not any food. If so I hope to go to panera bread where I can simply have a 50 cal salad. I wish we had gone there last night but it was my friends treat and they wanted out back.

Please give me strength.

-much later on-

The day was going well until we finally got back from the city. I was able to pass on taco bell, on Italian pastries and on hot chocolate and lava cake, but when we all went hang at my friend's house it was pizza that did me in. Pizza hut big Italy with green peppers.

I had 3 slices, 2 bread sticks, and my friends crust...because the binge had begun. I know how my binge always runs, its salty,
(cheese ) then sweets. Always and it will go back and forth at times, but that's always what I want, salty and sweet. I held out till I got to my house, stepped on the scale at 89lbs but that didn't stop me. It was half a pop tart, half and apple with nutella, 2 mini banana nut muffins, some granola and almond cereal dry, a bowl of coco puffs, a jello cup and a stick of string cheese.
Then I ran an purged in the shower. I'm 90lbs now. I'm fasting tomorrow, but only one day, then I'll eat a little Monday and maybe fast again Tuesday. I don't want to force a harsh fast after such a binge.
I feel a bit drained and tired but, I think I should be ok for now, it wasn't a very stuffing binge as I usually do, I stopped myself to purge pretty quick.
On top of everything,I don't feel like I gained much with my ex. He was still talking to his Girlfriend a lot of the time. I'm so sick of her. I want him to look at me the same way I do to him. I feel like I'm a bother. Like I can never do good enough.