It's like 2 am.
Yesterday I went to sleep at 5pm and now I'm up.
All I want to do is stuff my face, with chocolate and cookies and crap, but I haven't, I really don't want to.
It was just horrible.
I made a nice lunch for my ex and asked if we could have lunch together. I was making an effort for him to see me eat. We finally get around to heating the food up, but when we get back his girl friend is all mopey. He goes to touch her and she like gets mad but thinking he was someone else, they they walk off to talk. I'm sitting there with my heated food by mself. Our friend are like oh shes upset and she says she's not gonna eat today.
Really?
I laughed at the thought. All I could think was I doubt she'll make it through the day without eating. None of them can.My ex is gone for a god while and I hate eating cold food, I'm always hungry now and of cource I ate all my food and his got pretty cold. I was a bit upset myself. What the hell was the point, I could just have said I at for all that trouble.
They finally came back and she has a plate of chicken and french fires in her hands. So he went to get her food (probably with the little money he has). I told him he better go heat up his food and enjoy it. I shouldn't have been so nasty. He got real upset, told me to fuck off and pushed the food away. Then he was trying to leave, but I told him not to bother and went home myself. I skipped class and walked towards my house for an hour and a half, but I hoped on the bus cause I just wanted to get home. Then I passed out and we are here now.
He hasn't called. He never calls or messages me. All he cares about is her. All his friends probably freaking hate me now, because I'm such a horrible person. I won't binge, I don't want to eat at all. I don't even want to drink. I don't want to do anything or go anywhere.
I want to just be empty.
Comments-Thank you so much guys, it really does help to hear back from people. I do hope that all the extra weight just goes away.
He was out of order telling you to fuck off, you didn't deserve it at all x
ReplyDeleteDon't contact him until he contacts you first! Its the best way, concentrate on you for a little bit until then, glam yourself up, make your self feel good :) xx
He may be angry at himself for losing you/getting himself in a situation with his current girl/man/whore that he is taking it out on you. I unfortunately do that to my mom sometimes.
ReplyDeleteJust give him the time to chill and realize how WRONGITY WRONG he is.
Im sorry that you had such a hard day, but please try not to let you get it down!!!!! Just dont go calling him up at four am, or six pm or something. he needs to apologize first.
keep a happy face up!!