Don't want to deal, just gonna fast

I'm not really doing to well, just a bad morning, feeling really down. I didn't even get to workout, but I haven't eaten and I don't want to eat at. I don't deserve any food. I was stuffing my face yesterday and last night and the damage is probably horrible. I didn't get a chance to weigh in either so I'm clueless atm.

I don't want to deal with anything, or do anything. I have like no motivation, I just want to give up on everything. I just keep moving forward though. Like leaning with wind, I want to stop but gravity and force won't let me. I have about 3 weeks to get through some goal weights. About 4 weeks to get to my UGW. Fasting is my best bet, but I don't want to go over board. I always end up binging or disappointing myself. So I have to eat a little bit. The first thanksgiving dinner is on the 20th then 5 days later is another. I'm thinking fasting every other day in between those 5 days. Also doing that through out this month. For now though I don't want to eat for a good while, I want to be back in the 80's. I don't care who offers me, I'm turning it all down. I don't want anything from anyone. Just leave me be.

Also my ex made another comment about my weight loss. He said him and my friends seriously think something is up. But that they see me eat and are confused, but also worried cause it looks like I've never eaten in my life. Crap I knew I have to start taking it easier when I eat in front of people.

-later-

Well I've gone through the day and have had nothing. I have to eat tomorrow though because i have a test in the morning. I don't know how many cals to have? I'm down to 91lbs. I feel super tired. didn't get much sleep. I should try to get a lot tonight. I still have to study thou and I again don't have the energy.