Stress and the dress

Lets start with the bad and get it out of the way fast so I can move on to the good things. Lets do it quickly.

I came home feeling stressed just to be around my family...

I go on FB and see that my ex's GF (ex GF/ GFon a break?) was talking to him all day yesterday.

That sets me off in a bad mood, and I hate to think about it. 

I'm unbelieveably and unhealthily jelous, or perhaps I just want to hit that girl and tell her to back off.

I'm greedy and I don't want to change that becasue I want to be with him. 

I weighted in still at 87lbs. 

I pushed myself to eat something and allowed myself 500 cals.

I then realised a lot of the food we bought was the wrong kind.

I got even more frustrated and ended up B/P'ing, breaking another promise to myself, so I have to restart my count.

I called up my ex and he was grumpy and nasty, and didn't seem to want me to come see him tomorrow, because he says the only or at least main reason I want to go chill with him at the college is becasue his Girl is gonna be there.

That its a fucked up reason.

Sorry but I'm fucked up, I don't trust her, I want to claim my space and make my presence known, that I want him. 

Sometimes I find myself wondering "why?"

Why do I chase after someone who doesn't seem to want to do the same for me.

It makes me feel cheap and worthless.

 I really feel I won't be.

But thats all the bad and I'm not so depressed anymore.

I worked out for 40 mins and burned about 200 cals.

Dancing (and drinking -minus this part because of all the damn cals-) was so fun. I took a bunch of pictures in the new dress I bought and  I'm still waiting on the ones that the club took. 

@Kit- thank you very much I did have a lot of fun >.<

@AS- I agree that ED's are a slow suicide, in fact I really tumbled down hill into it when I was very suicidal and self abusive. I still am a lot, and use it to cope and channel my emotions, not to mention I'm just obsessed and fear driven with my weight. I hope that you are taking care of your self, I really would love to see all my readers and followers well and happy, as hypocritical as that sounds. I feel like I deserve what I get but I guess we all do. Thank you for the love.

<3's to all my lovly readers who are all beautiful, thank you for the support.

I'm up to 30 followers right now and I hope that what ever I'm saying helps in some way.