Saturday, February 19, 2011

Body movin, we be body movin

I'm not really sure what to think of yesterday. 
The workout was wonderful, bout 3 hours at the park, running, jogging, lunges, squats, stairs, swings, crunches, pull up/ push up bars. I was running around doing everything. I was having a blast, because I knew I was blasting calories. I had a half hour workout in the morning as well. and I'd only had 100 calories up too that point...
Then we went to the china buffet...all you can eat.
I agreeed to this, and I let myself go, with such a weak constitution I have. 
I was eating veggies and fish, then I let slip a little chicken, a little bread, then cookies upon cookies and ice cream.
When we got home and I looked in the mirror my stomach was huge, the most bloated I'd ever see it.
Then I ate more, and I just felt like throwing up. I was upset over eating too much, so I binged more, and I figured it would make anything I tried to purge easier to come up. But all I got up was the food I ate when I got home.
The damage was done.
Damage I chose and payed for so it serves me right and should be sitting at the bottom of my stomach.
My tummy has deflated a bit, I think it was just bloating because it didn't feel like I ate so much.
But I felt my ribs were expanded, hell I looked pregnant, with a food baby.
It was the worst binge I ever had, I seriously thought, shit I'm going to die in this bathroom purging, rupturing my stomach from all this food.
I'm still here but god does it still hurt. If I'm not careful anymore I'm gonna end up real dead real fast like this...

Today I'm going to be walking about 4 miles or so. 
I don't want to look at the scale and record the data, cause I know its a lot of food weight and water weight but I will anyways...because I'm an idiot masochist.
I wish that was me...
Why can't I just get here and stay here?

omg 91lbs...gtfo fml
(I sound like a pissed off 12 year old >.<)

1 comment:

  1. Working out at the park sounds like so much fun! You're having fun and you don't even realize you're doing much exercise either! I always binge at Chinese buffets-always. I love Asian food and if it's all you can eat, I generally eat "all I can eat" and then pay for it with a bloated stomach later. Give it a couple of days and your stomach will deflate and be back where it was. Yeah, purge can do loads of damage on the inside. I stopped several months ago because I was terrified of what it would do to my teeth (no health/dental insurance). They say you never get all the calories out but I haven't found a reliable science study to prove it, so hey, who knows! I find that exercise or fasting after a binge works- it works slower, but less damaging.

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