Yesterday's fail makes today's fast

"If you could range your stress on a scale from 1 to 10" what level would it be?"

Me: "11"

Yesterday was...scratch that, this week has just been something terrible.

I hate my creative writing class and have to shell out 110 dollars for it, and I don't know where to get the money for that, because I really don't want to ask my parents. I still haven't taken care of my financial aid or gotten rolled over to the spring session. My old "new" cell phone my mom gave me, sucks battery life wise. I have to return that crappy scale still. I feel and look bloated. 

I mean the highlights of my days have been having that slice of pizza, being around my ex and making his girlfriend jealous. Its no wonder things have been so bad, I'm a horrid person and this is karma maying amends for that.

And last night I had a horrible binge and purge. I weighted in at 96lbs before, 94lbs after.

Thank god I'm 93lbs now, because I don't think my tiny body can handle much more strain. After I was done, I felt horrible, my heart and chest hurt, my throat was sore as hell (it's much better now though) and I was dizzy. I've been dizzy everyday all week.

Don't eat- Dizzy

Eat-...still freaking dizzy

I'm much better now, and after all that I still went and ate more. But I'm still trying to move forward, thats behind me, I'm going to do todays plan.

Fasting today and tomorrow. Green tea and water only. God that means I'm going to be in the bathroom every 20 minutes. I just hope I lose a bunch of weight in the next two days, I need some good news I have to do homework as well and pick up a books for school. 

I really do hope to go out friday with my dad to see harry potter. If we do he might want to eat out, so I might fast most of the day for that and aim for the low cal stuff. I guess I just have to accept the fact that though I want to diet, as this ED is a secret, I have to eat in front of people. I mean he caught me buying the new scale, that looks bad enough, I was planning on saying , 

"I'm trying to gain weight"...

Yea O.K.

Alright I need some thinspo.