There is no reference for Beauty

I'm getting ready to head on to the bus for a 3 and a half hour ride home. I am going to be so bored. The bus leaves at 2 pm and I probably won't see my bed until 8pm because the trains won't be running well in the city.

Yesterday a lot happened and got done. I wrapped and packed the last of my late Christmas gifts to pass out like after new years.

XD

Sadly yesterday's lunch was a china buffet. 

All

You

Can

Eat

I had two plates; mostly piled with mixed veggies. A bit of shrimp, I had a 3 small pieces of sweet and sour chicken, some sushi and like 4 fortune cookies. The first one I opened and that was actually mine (because I ate everyone else's who didn't like the cookie.)

this is what it said.

I thought that was ironic to get, since I have all these damn issue about my looks. Although I do compare myself with other people, Even if I was surrounded by people who were considered "ugly" or "fat" I would still not feel good enough.

 I stayed away from the ice cream at the buffet, because I'm still not allowed any sweets until I hit 95lbs.

This morning I weighed in at 

97.9lbs. 

Ugh I feel disgusted.

I was on dance central again for an hour, burning 200 cals.

I'm drinking water like a fish. 

It's almost 10 now and I haven't ate since 2 pm yesterday, and I don't think I'll be eating for a while.

I want to, I don't want to.  I don't know.

All I know is that I have to start drinking water regularly again.

-later-

My scale said 99 before I got in the shower then 100 when I got out.
Yea I binged again and I got so scared so I purged.
I don't want this, I really don't.
New Years resolution:
Get thin; 85lbs thin.
No more binges.
No more purges.
Get my ID so I can join the college gym.
Be happy.
(That last one in a tough-ie)